Motherly Mishap or Misstep? Did this mother go too far to stop cyberbullies?

September 15th, 2011 in Cyberbullying, Internet Safety for Kids

As reported by ABC Television, a Long Island woman was arrested for encouraging her 12-year-old daughter to physically defend herself from her cyberbullies.

As the story goes, the mother claimed deaf ears by both police and school officials, and felt she had no other recourse than to encourage her child to confront her bullies on the playground.

A Facebook post made, a fight broke out, and fists started flying – all interspersed with reported motherly encouragement from the sidelines (and possibly even assistance in the form kneeing a bystander).

It goes without saying that this mother was clearly in the wrong.  However, I wonder what responsibility falls on the police and school officials – who according to the mother, would do nothing to help her child.

It takes more than a single parent to provide for their kids’ Internet safety.  But not much is said about support for parents who have bullied children.  Are we missing a key piece to the cyberbullying puzzle?

I’d like to know what you think in the comments section below.

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Teens, Tweets & Tequila: How Kids on Facebook are More Likely to Abuse Illicit Substances

September 14th, 2011 in Facebook and Kids

The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA) recently released its annual teen survey exploring, amongst other things, the relationship between Facebook and kids and teens and their potential to use and abuse illicit drugs.

Asking the question, “In a typical day, how many hours do you spend on Facebook, Myspace or other social networking sites,” the survey confirms that 70% of kids visit social sites daily.

It is on these networking sites that kids are exposed to images of other kids abusing illicit substances.  This exposure makes kids anywhere from two- to five-times more likely to abuse those same substances.

But it isn’t just social media sites that wield a powerful influence on kids.  Reality television shows – which also often portray illicit substance abuse – increases the rate of substance abuse by its viewers, compared to non-viewers.

Clearly, I think it is a broad statement to say that “social networking” or “reality programming” is the cause of substance abuse amongst kids and teens.  But repeated, and prolonged exposure of kids to images of substance abuse will lead to an increased chance of substance abuse.

I can’t speak for the television industry, but as for the social media industry – especially social sites for kids – I agree with and promote the premise of the survey’s findings:

“The time has come for those who operate and profit from social networking sites like Facebook to deploy their technological expertise to curb such images…”

I’d like to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.

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Hats Off To A Technically Connected Mother

May 9th, 2011 in Internet Safety Tips

I spend a lot of time reading stories and news reports as they relate to kids and Internet safety. Sometimes I have found, the real story lies just beyond the reported story.

In reading the comments left by readers of one story, a parent posted the following question to the author:

“I can check my child’s computer history, but how will we know which sites are dangerous? Is there a known list available?”

Unfortunately, no.

But even if such a list did exist, it does not take the responsibility away from parents, guardians and teachers to research – and ask questions if necessary – the sites their kids visit.

While today is the day after Mother’s Day, I would like to spotlight (though anonymously) a mother who approached ScuttlePad with questions that she wanted answered before allowing her child to register on the site.

She asked just three short questions, and a single follow-up question.  After this dialogue, she felt comfortable and allowed her child to join the ScuttlePad community.

We believe we have created a very safe environment for kids, an environment that removes the burden of concern for parents.

But we also appreciate any and all involved parents, who engage us in dialogue. Who help us improve our offering. Who by their involvement with their kids’ use of the Internet, make the web safer for all kids everywhere.

So my hat is off to this technically connected mother, who took the extra effort to keep her child safe on the Internet.

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Anonymity Is Not Privacy – And Not A Free Pass To Cyberbully

October 28th, 2010 in Cyberbullying

Did you catch the recent story of Carla Franklin in the press? She is a victim of cyberbullying by an anonymous user who posted unauthorized videos and defamatory comments of, and about, Ms. Franklin. (If you’re not familiar with the story, you can read more here).

In this landmark case for cyber-victim rights, a New York judge ordered Google to release the identity of the anonymous bully to Ms. Franklin and her lawyers.

This has caused quite a stir in the industry and the legal community concerning freedom of speech and privacy rights, which has really got me thinking. Since when did online anonymity become synonymous with online privacy? After all, they are not the same.

Online privacy deals with the protection of sensitive, personally identifiable information, which when used without consent may be personally damaging or infringing.

Online anonymity conceals my entire identity – not just the sensitive pieces of personal information – and is a catalyst for cyberbullying.

Think about it. I’m sure we’ve all thought about what we would say to that particular someone if they had no way of finding out who said it. The boss. The neighbor. The coworker. The “friend.”

But where do you draw the line? And how would you feel if you were the recipient of such an action. Worse yet, what if your child was the recipient of such anonymous actions?

And that’s what is scary about cyberbullying. Unlike real-world bullying, cyberbullying can take on an anonymous component, which puts us on a very slippery slope. Particularly when it comes to kids and cyberbullying.

The temptation to say or post anything about anyone – just because one’s identity is concealed – is too great of a temptation for kids just learning the basics of appropriate online social behaviors. That’s why we protect kids’ privacy, but do not allow anonymity on ScuttlePad.

That is sound advice for parents: Stay clear of any site that allows kids to create  anonymous profiles and post anonymous comments. In this way you’ve taken a big step towards protecting your child from cyberbullying.

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Information on Social Networks: How much is too much?

October 11th, 2010 in Internet Safety Tips, Social Networking for Kids

Something has been weighing on my mind lately, and finally reached a tipping point.

On one of my social networks, I have a friend that innocently posts daily nasal condition updates: runny, stuffy, sloshy, etc. The first day it was odd. The second, extremely uncomfortable. The third, just plain embarrassing (…and what does sloshy even mean?). By the fourth day, I was tempted to de-friend this contact.

Another contact of mine discovered location based updates last week, and they were making sure we all knew where they were, every minute of the day.

That is what I call too much information – I don’t care that your nose is runny, or that you are at the grocery store. Most others probably don’t either. In fact, providing too much information is the top reason people de-friend others on social networking sites.

But, even more disturbing than “TMI” is the amount of inappropriate information I see posted on social networks daily.

Perhaps that’s because I have a unique vantage point, and very real examples most people never see. One of the things we do here at ScuttlePad is review and approve every photo that is uploaded by kids. Real humans do it – the process is discussed here: ScuttlePad: The Kids Social Networking Safety Net.

It’s pretty straightforward. Still, every once in awhile we see a profile or photo come through that sparks a group discussion, and its appropriateness seems to be “a gray area.” I am not referring to sexual photos. These are photos that are not glaringly inappropriate, yet something about them just doesn’t seem right for public display.

It’s the family shot where a few of the younger children are not completely clothed, or the family beach shot where the swimsuits aren’t covering as much as one would expect.

Our discussion often starts: “I would never let my child post a picture like this. What do you think?” Then we debate and determine what is most appropriate.

Remember, when you post online, that some pictures only belong in family albums. Just because you can post doesn’t mean you should. As with too much information, just because you can say it, doesn’t mean you do need to tell the entire world.

So I offer a tip for parents: next time your kid wants to upload a photo or update their status, pretend you had to review and approve the posting as a third-party observer, and see if you’d react differently.

I think your response will shock you.

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Kids and Cyberbullying – What You Can Do

September 29th, 2010 in Cyberbullying

Lately there has been a lot of attention in the media about cyberbullying. That’s a good thing as we’re reaching a point where cyberbullying is being recognized as an important issue.

At the same time, a lot of fingers are being pointed to technology providers to fix the problem. After all, if it’s technology that is making cyberbullying so easy, then naturally it’s technology’s responsibility to fix. Right? Not necessarily.

As digital citizens, technology providers certainly have a responsibility to do everything they can to prevent these instances from occurring, but this is just one piece of the puzzle.

Here are some things you can do, sans needing any technology, to reduce cyberbullying in your household:

1. Know your kids’ friends

Pay attention to your kids’ behavior with their friends – online and offline. Talk to them about their day-to-day interactions. Be alert, and ask about any red flags you see.

2. Know your kids’ online / social media / texting activities

This includes sites visited, messages sent, messages received and even status updates.

3. Talk about cyberbullying and watch for signals

Most kids won’t tell you when they are being bullied – so it’s up to you to always keep the subject open. Be sure to pay attention to non-verbal cues that may be signs of bullying.

4. Teach kids to not participate in cyberbullying

Teach them not to instigate or encourage bullying, or go along with or participate in bullying due to peer pressure. Create a supportive, positive environment in which you teach kids to constructively deal with conflict.

5. Set an example

Be mindful of how you behave around your children, and how you react to bullies – kids mimic parental behaviors and are always paying attention to what you do.

6. Encourage social networks to adopt a “no tolerance” policy

You have a lot of control as a consumer – and social networks need your business. Don’t be afraid to flex your muscle and demand no-tolerance policies for cyberbullying. And seek out options such as ScuttlePad that provide a controlled communication environment.

At ScuttlePad we are particularly aware of the threat of cyberbullying, especially on social networks designed for teenagers and adults. That’s why we created a kid-friendly social network where kids can be safe from bullying.

But we also know it’s more than just technology that keeps kids safe from cyberbullying. It’s a joint effort between technology providers, parents and educators – education and non-tolerance of bullying will win over technology every day.

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Digital Moderation: Addressing the Issue, Not the Distractor

September 17th, 2010 in Digital Youth

Last week, the Washington Post published an article reporting the challenges parents feel when dealing with today’s digital youth. Most notably was the challenge of distractions that are caused by kids’ digital activities, as well as their struggle to withhold digital privileges from their children.

I don’t get it.

You see, as a kid I participated in many activities myself, which unmonitored, became distractions – friends, television, sports, and yes, video games. Even further back, my parents had their own distractions as kids, and so did their parents.

I think digital grounding is a cop out. You see, the activity itself isn’t the distraction. It’s the misbehavior that results from lack of moderation that is the issue.

It is parental responsibility to help their children manage their use of technology until they learn to self moderate — much like managing other aspects of child development and discipline. When I was younger, if I wanted to go skiing when I had homework to do, my parents always made sure I completed my homework first. Eventually, I “trained myself” to do the same to keep my priorities in check.

But for some reason, which I believe could be simply a lack of understanding, there seems to be a growing trend that misses that point when it comes to kids’ digital behaviors. Rather than teach moderation, people are quick to label all things digital as distractions.

There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that a kid’s life today is very technology centric. And that means there are 24 full-hours of digital activities that kids can engage in, and potentially be distracted by. But, again, the issue is not the device, but rather the behavior. For example, for the tween who texts while at family dinner, the issue is not the texting, but the disrespect of family time. Regardless of if this is caused by a cell phone, or ignoring a little brother, the issue needs to be addressed, not the technology.

The article also shared the dilemma some parents feel when it comes to withholding digital privileges, because they are so ingrained in their kids’ lives. That is the real problem here.

As a kid, my “activities” were just as ingrained in my life. When restrictions and moderation occurred, I thought my life was going to be over. But it wasn’t. And I learned that moderation makes a responsible society member.

We spend a lot of time teaching kids the importance of digital safety, and being a responsible digital citizen. That’s one of the reasons I created ScuttlePad.

But perhaps we also need to be a little more like our parents, and teach kids that digital moderation, like all other forms of moderation, is a fact of life, and simply part of being a responsible digital citizen.

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ScuttlePad: The Kids Social Networking Safety Net

August 31st, 2010 in Social Networking for Kids

The single focus here at ScuttlePad is to create a safe and secure social networking environment for kids ages 6-11. So, this week we’re sharing some behind-the-scenes goings-on to highlight the safety measures that keep kids safe on the site.

Safety Net #1: No Grown-Up Profiles Allowed.

We don’t deviate from this policy. Ever. Even as the founder of ScuttlePad, I don’t have a profile. While we appreciate the interest from teachers and parents who want to check out the site for their kid(s), we do need to remove all adult accounts from the site to ensure kids’ safety.

We recently deactivated the registration of a teacher in Brazil, and received the following e-mail in response:

“…I understand why my account deactivated, as I am an art director and focused on emerging trends could not help taking a look at the site, loved the idea and saw that it actually works because the level of seriousness and responsibility is taken very seriously, because I was disabled, even though harmless but agree it is a space only for small, congratulations for the idea, the initiative and commitment …. big hug.”

It’s important to note, however, that we strongly encourage parents to use ScuttlePad alongside their kids, so they can learn together and parents can help kids through the process.

Safety Net #2: No Free-Form Text

One of the most important measures we emphasize with parents and educators is that ScuttlePad has no free-form text. Kids create status updates/comments by selecting from pre-approved word lists to form sentences.

By filtering out inappropriate words (sexual, harassing), or identifying words (numbers, specific locations), kids can’t get into trouble by sharing too much or inappropriate information—or get approached by adult strangers.

Safety Net #3: All Photos Are Reviewed Before Posting

Perhaps our most important safety measure is the simple fact that human eyes review all photos before being posted to the site. Of course we’ve rejected the types of photos you’d expect us to reject, those of a sexual, revealing or predatory nature.

We have also rejected images of cartoon characters drinking and smoking; classroom photos showing names, schools, and locations; team sports photos showing names and locations.

Humans review photo submissions to ensure content is appropriate. There is no work-around or way to deceive human eyes to “game” the system. As we see everything that is posted on the site beforehand, parents can be assured their kids won’t see anything inappropriate.

These are just a few of the things that go on behind the scenes here at ScuttlePad. We take our responsibility seriously, and want you to feel confident that when your son or daughter joins ScuttlePad, that they are protected.

If you have any further questions, feel free to drop me a line.

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What the Numbers Say about Kids and Social Networking

August 25th, 2010 in Social Networking for Kids

Here at ScuttlePad we talk a lot about the latest trends and statistics behind online social networking and kids. When we talk to parents and educators, however, they rarely ask us about numbers at all. But we like looking at the numbers behind what’s happening out there, and we always use them to explain ScuttlePad to parents and guardians.

What most educators and parents always find most interesting is just how ingrained social networking is in a kid’s life today.

What 77% of Parents Don’t Know

Common Sense Media recently conducted a survey to find out how well these parents and guardians actually understand the social networking behavior of their children.

For starters, only 23% of parents thought that their children were logging on to a social network site more than once a day. That means 77% of parents underestimated how often their kids are even interested in social networks!

What 51% of Kids Do Everyday

The reality, according to the same survey, is that 51% of kids are logging on to a social network more than once a day – some as much as 10 times a day!

Clearly, numbers like this tell us social networking plays a big role in the daily life of a majority of youth – and that we have a responsibility to make sure they are doing it right and staying safe.

Only 8% of Parents Trust Facebook and MySpace

This is one of the fundamental challenges for parents and guardians of children under the age of 13 who are, or who want to be, active in social networking.

A study by Retrevo found that only 8% of parents trust Facebook or MySpace for their children under the age of 12.

And therein lays the challenge. If a majority of kids under 12 years old are logging into a social network daily, and only a handful of parents support the most popular sites, where do these kids go?

We of course welcome them to ScuttlePad! The numbers keep showing us that parents, teachers and guardians want and need a social network site designed exclusively for 6-11 year olds. Their kids need a place that is safe, secure and designed to teach the fundamentals of social networking in a fun and friendly way.

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Where Did The Idea of ScuttlePad Come From?

August 20th, 2010 in Social Networking for Kids

One of the most frequent questions we’ve fielded here at ScuttlePad since our launch has been about why we would want to start a social networking site for kids.

That is definitely a fair question, and one best answered by looking at where we are today in the evolution of kids and social networking.

Until recently, the jury was still out on the effects of social networking and kids. But, in a landmark study by the MacArthur Foundation, it was determined that social networking for kids was definitively beneficial to their development – socially and as a cyber-citizen.

As a result of the study, parents, guardians and educators immediately started supporting their kids’ online activity.

Around this same time, however, “social gaming” sites were climbing their way across the web. These sites provide a community where kids could go to play games and sometimes share their scores with the community – but they were really limited in terms of online social interactions.

I think it was savvy marketers who began to bill these sites as “social networks for kids” – but kids aren’t fooled and soon started looking for true social networking experiences on sites like Facebook and MySpace.

Sometimes parents and guardians supported these online explorations, however most of the time they had no idea their kids were networking online. That has caused a lot of concern.

Ask any parent or guardian what they do or where they go when their 6-11 year old asks for a Facebook or MySpace account, and you’ll hear them say over and over that there really hasn’t been a real social networking site that was safe for their children to participate in.

I also wasn’t seeing any valid sites where the primary focus was safe, kid-friendly social networking (not social gaming) – so I decided that the time was right to introduce ScuttlePad into homes and classrooms.

As I’ve enjoyed explaining to many of you already, that is where the idea came from, and it’s our vision to keep it growing! We’re creating a social network specifically for 6-11 year olds where they can learn the fundamentals of social networking all in a safe and secure environment.

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